A jar of candy

...


There was always a jar of candy
at my grandmother's home
placed on top of the fridge.
I was curious, I was hungry (I was young)
And I used to camp on top of the fridge -
Put my little tent up there and my sleeping bag -
Do my homework, comb my hair,
Everything there, on top of the fridge,
so that I could shove my hand in the jar
twenty four seven
and feel rewarded for no reason -
(The jar was never emptied or even half full,
I guess my grandmother silently refilled it at night, while I was sleeping right next to it.
I called this love.)

The Monday I was forced not to use
the word grandmother any longer
I knew the jar would eventually start to empty
But it never did
And it was then that I realized that
the number of candies in a jar
has nothing to do with age
or any other limited number of years
The number of candies is not a number
There is no measure
There is no fate

Just candy -

We are the ones to choose how much life
we steal and eat

...